All of us have ideals that we strive for in our lives. The issue with ideals is that they are always a moving goalpost. When we want something and we finally achieve it the goalpost moves further and further down the line. This process never truly allows us to appreciate all we have endured and accomplished over the course of our lives. As The Gap And The Gain by Benjamin Hard and Dan Sullivan describes, this is called living life in the gap. When the goalposts are moving there is always a gap between where you are and where you want to be. The counter to this is to measure your life in the gain. What this means is measuring backwards and seeing all the great things you’ve accomplished rather than looking forwards to all you have yet to. This paradigm shift is simple yet powerful enough to allow us to fully appreciate all we accomplish and live a much more fulfilling life.
The high achiever’s plight
I consider myself a high achiever, or at the very least, someone who thinks like one. This leaves me never being fully appreciative of everything I have and everything I’ve accomplished to get to where I am. As a matter of fact, most people rarely take the time to reflect and think backwards about where they came from at all. It is human nature to think ahead and constantly plan for the future, and if you’re not careful, you could fall into the gap mindset perpetually. When you start measuring your life backwards and reflect on where you were two years ago, one year ago, 6 months ago, 12 weeks ago, even one month ago, you begin to see all of the incremental progress snowball into where you are now! 2 years ago, I was driving around my home neighborhood out of my parents house door knocking and looking for distressed properties so I could put them under contract to fix and flip or try and wholesale. Over the course of the two years leading up to where I am now I’ve tried and failed at so much. I’ve learned so many lessons, met so many great people, and am truly grateful for every experience I’ve had over the course of that time. One year ago, I was DoorDashing for pocket change to pay minimums on my credit cards. Now, I own 50 real estate doors and am a partner in a nearly 6 figure monthly real estate wholesale operation! When you reflect on this, it becomes so motivating and excites you for what’s possible as you continue down your journey. If you practice this simple brain exercise right now as you read this, you will begin to grasp the power of the gain. Measuring backward is motivating, inspiring, and fulfilling.
Practice gratefulness
One of if not the best way to get into the gain mindset is to truly practice gratefulness. Doing this is simple. Before I finish up my day, I journal. I start my entry with three achievements from the day and three things I’m grateful for. This simple practice gets me into the gain immediately. My mind clears of all the negativity that may have built up during the day and I truly appreciate all the things I have and all I have accomplished that day and beyond. I then journal about my general thoughts, things I have been working on, and problems I need to solve. This allows me to sleep on these journal entries and revisit them in the morning to see if I have gotten any clarity on any of the questions or issues I journaled about prior. Entering sleep in the gain is a powerful tool you can use to maximize the power most people don’t tap into because they’re too trapped in their smartphones and in the gap measuring their lives against their ideals or the lives of others. I also plan my days in advance so that I can be intentional about my time the following day. These practices make each day stack as I continue to stay in the gain. A journal can also be a great resource for your future self to go back to in order to get in the brain of your present self with fresh perspective. It’s amazing to see how much changes and how your views advance and evolve over time. It truly helps you measure backwards and see the gains in plain sight!
Extract gains from every experience
No matter the experience, you get to choose what you want to take away from it. People succumb to the normal and immediate emotions of different situations. A negative experience can understandably leave us in the gap and feeling sorry for ourselves. However, extracting the lessons we learn from these experiences is an absolute gain! I recently bought a property that went south and cost me and my partners a ton of money to remedy. This experience could have been traumatizing for us and paralyzed us with fear and pessimism. However, I am eternally grateful for having made this mistake. Because of this mistake, we now have a rigid buy box of properties we buy, a specific strategy we use, and if it doesn’t fit what we are looking for we wholesale it to someone who wants it and can execute a different strategy! There are no negative experiences, only lessons. You can either choose to be a victim of circumstance and live in the gap, or take your circumstances and turn them into lessons and gains. The choice is yours.