Making People Feel Good

Emotions are the strongest dictator of human interaction and decision making. With that being said, what do you think makes people inherently want to associate with you in the world of sales? That’s right, because you make them feel good! As we spoke about in our previous blog post, Finding People’s Pain, most people are “not ok”, and their human instincts instruct them to make the more vulnerable around them feel less ok. A traditional salesperson definitely qualifies as someone in a vulnerable state. This makes them feel better about themselves. It does not make one a good or bad person to act this way, it just makes them human. However, learning to interact with others at a high level in the sales setting doesn’t need to be difficult.

No one likes a Mr. or Mrs. Know-It-All

An almost unanimous trait that makes others feel less ok and therefore hurts the chances they’ll want to do business with you is being a know-it-all. People with seemingly all the answers, especially in sales, can be looked at as condescending , arrogant, and even egotistical. All of these negative characteristics are difficult and most likely impossible to recover from. Instead of digging your hole deeper and deeper by spewing product knowledge and coming off as a pushy salesman, a prospect is much more likely to respond in a positive fashion when you don’t actually have the answer for everything (or at least don’t reveal it even if you do). Instead of responding with the direct answer to a question (what traditional salespeople hear as an invitation to spew knowledge of their product’s features and benefits), using a technique called the “Dummy Curve”, and reversing the attention back on the prospect is a better way to better understand their situation at a deeper level. This is a technique taught by David H. Sandler in his classic “You Can’t Teach A Kid To Ride A Bike At A Seminar“. It works something like this:

Prospect: Will the product really help me fix x and how will it do so?

Salesperson: Well… that depends. Help me understand the problem a little better.

Instead of going into the long and drawn out laundry list of features and benefits you have memorized, play the “dummy” and shift attention back to the prospect’s problem rather than your prescribed solution to that problem. This will help the prospect feel good and trigger the emotional response to sell themselves on what you have to offer.

Your prescription to the product’s pain will never be as good as the prospect’s prescription to their own pain. So listen up and open your ears instead of your mouth. No one likes a know-it-all.

Letting your guard down

Think of the last time you picked up the phone to a cold calling salesman. What was your natural inclination without even thinking? You probably put your guard up immediately before answering the phone, reacted defensive or even hostile, or just hung up immediately. Traditional sales techniques are like nails on a chalkboard for prospects. You are making them feel everything but ok when you try to sell them on your product’s features and benefits. The key for any successful salesperson to do is to get the prospect’s guard down immediately. Anything scripted or rehearsed will sound that way and send alarm bells off in your prospect’s head. Instead of making the conversation about yourself and what you have to offer, shift that focus on them and what they have to gain by using your product  or service as a solution to their problem. Let them paint their own picture in their head instead of you painting it for them. In my day to day interactions involving real estate acquisitions, I have to get people talking right away whenever I get on the phone. My success is contingent on me guiding the prospect down a path towards my solution if it’s the right fit for them. No hard selling! This is a major turn off and a big time waster. If the prospect has no “pain” or in other words no use for what you’re offering, move on to the next one. Other people out there need what you are offering! Find them! Here’s an example of how I like to open up conversations with prospects:

Me: Hey Bob, this is Dom. I’m an investor interested in your property at 123 Main St. Is this a good time to chat?

Prospect: Yeah, I have a few minutes. What’s this about? (Notice the guard is up here in this response)

Me: I just saw your house was recently on the market and then you took it off. Are you still looking to sell? Catch me up to speed on what’s going on with the property!

Notice how my response to the guarded nature of the prospect was handled. Right off the bat I invited the prospect to lead to conversation and walk me through the process of why his home didn’t sell. This is sure to bring up points of pain that I can probe deeper into after I let the prospect tell as much as the original question prompted him to. Remember, it takes some time and expert probing to allow the prospect to lower their defenses, but it only takes one mistake for them to put them right back up in which case the conversation will conclude unsuccessfully.

Using third party stories

Third party stories are an amazing tool that you can use to add credibility to what you’re saying and help the prospect understand how your solution can and has been applied to someone else’s problem. This gets them thinking about how they can apply your solution to their own problem. Use your judgment and add third party stories when it makes sense to do so. After I know about my prospect’s problem and I dig into their pain with questions, I often use a third party story to illustrate how my solution can be applied in real life to a situation similar to their own. Rather than just explaining the mechanics of a creative finance transaction to someone (something they’re likely hearing about for the first time and won’t fully understand), people learn and respond better when things are explained in the form of a story. Adding this tool to your toolbelt is a great way to make a presentation (if necessary), and add context to conversations when needed.

Make people feel good and you’ll succeed

The bottom line is that people want to be around people that make them feel good. Traditional salespeople make others feel the extreme opposite of good, often resulting in anger and hostility. Defuse the bomb by changing the approach and use the skills and techniques we’ve spoken about both in this blog post and the previous one. Making people feel good is a skill that if you can master can take you anywhere you want to go in life!