For many of us, a goal marks the end of a journey. Even if we change who we are drastically to reach a goal, the trap so many fall into when they finally achieve it is they drop what got them there and immediately readopt their old habits. This defeats the entire purpose of setting goals in the first place! Goal setting is supposed to be points of celebration and milestones along an endless journey. These goals help us shape our habits around the identity we want to create for ourselves. If we accomplish a goal and revert back to our old ways, what good has that goal done for you? Give you a good story about your glory days? Make sure you live in the past forever, never intending to challenge yourself with new opportunities in the present and future? What kind of identity is that? In order to fix this, we need to reframe the way we approach the idea of goals so we can have a better understanding of what their true purpose is and how we can use them to shape our identity for the long run!
The problem with faulty goal setting
In many high achiever communities, 75 Hard is something many people try to do as sort of a trendy goal to challenge themselves. The idea behind it, although solid in many respects, is flawed. For those of you who may not be familiar with 75 Hard, it’s a span of 75 Days where you work out twice a day for at least 45 minutes each, drink 1 gallon of water, follow a nutrition plan, read 10 pages of a nonfiction book, and take a progress picture. The idea behind this is solid, but the purpose of a goal is to create sustainable change. Almost every single person I know that has attempted and completed 75 Hard went back to their normal habits after it was over. The result was they put the weight they lost back on, stopped reading and working out, and sunk right back into the trap of comfort and mediocrity.
75 Hard is missing the key ingredient to successful life change. In order for these changes to become permanent, they must become a part of your identity. When you attempt 75 Hard, part of the ritual is counting down the days you have left to completion. I think this is awful practice because it conditions the mind that there is an end to this and that your habits are only temporary. This is why when you cross off that 75 on the 75 Hard countdown, most people’s habits instantly evaporate and they regress back down to the mean. It never became part of their identity. Setting yourself up for a lifetime of success is about creating an identity that you step into for yourself and mirror the habits of what it takes to be successful in that identity everyday.
The same goes not just for physical aspects of your life, but everything else in between. If part of your identity is someone who is fit, why would you stop practicing those habits after some time has elapsed? Because a goal has been completed? That’s the same as having the identity of being a good mother or father and having the goal of making it to all your kid’s basketball games for the entire season. Once that goal is completed, do you no longer want to be a good parent as part of your identity? Of course not! So why would you expect the realms of fitness, finances, or anything else to be any different? The goals you set are designed to be points of celebration and recognition of your progress, progress that is never ending. Retool the way you think about goals and how you design them into your life.
Using goals to reinforce your identity
Goals are a tool that we can use to reinforce our identity. If part of your identity is that you’re a runner, setting a goal such as running a marathon is a great way to reinforce that identity. All the training you do leading up to that point and then the eventual completion of that goal is a means for celebration and recognition, but it is not the end of the road. It is rather a mere pitstop. If you’re a reader do you stop reading after one book? No, of course not. So why then if you’re a runner would you stop running after a marathon? We need to set goals for ourselves to fortify our identity.
Goals motivate us and they inspire us to remain disciplined in our pursuit of excellence. When we check them off our list we know we’re headed in the right direction and our identity is being constantly reinforced. This gives us purpose and meaning in life. So many people struggle with their identity and search for who they really are. Many never find the answer. This shouldn’t be you. If you use goals to create habits that reinforce your desired identity, you can truly be and achieve whatever you want. Growing up we always heard, “You can be anything you want to be!”, from our teachers and parents. As we got older, it turned into “Be more realistic about your goals.” F@%k that noise! Use goals to propel your progress and create the habits necessary to be the best version of whatever you desire. The world is limitless. Go seize it!