Humans run on hope. They gravitate towards activities and opportunities that seem the most hopeful and they eagerly await life changing results. Shortly into the process, hope begins to fade and boredom begins to set in. Monotony replaces hope and human emotion gravitates us towards the next hopeful opportunity. This is a seemingly endless cycle that people get sucked into like a merry-go-round. I call this the hope hamster wheel and it is similar to the rat race that we describe when we illustrate the process of trading our time for money so we can pay our bills. Most people give up when hope begins to fade because boredom begins to set in. The excitement about the promise an opportunity once had is no longer top of mind. In order to have success, we must become comfortable with boredom. We must put emotions aside and lean on boredom to guide us towards success. Success isn’t about doing things that are the most exciting, it’s about doing the same things consistently that eventually produce exciting results.
The valley of despair
When hope begins to fade in the pursuit of a worthwhile endeavor and boredom begins to sink in, this is what I call the valley of despair. During this time, you have unknowingly set yourself up for success. You are on the right track and if you continue down the path you’re on for long enough you will achieve worthwhile results. To get through the valley of despair, consistency plays the most important role. By staying consistent and not letting our emotions trick us into giving up and falling into the next hope hamster wheel trap, success becomes inevitable.
A perfect example to illustrate this is the real estate industry. The main thing that separates those who make it in the industry from those who don’t is the ones who make it are consistent in taking the necessary actions to succeed no matter what regardless of how they feel. Success is in repetition. The great realtor knows the more people they call, the better they will get at closing deals, the more listings they will get. Sure, the savvy business owner will eventually leverage these tasks out when they have the means to do so in order to scale their business effectively, but the consistency with the basics never changes. The calling and prospect outreach is still the driver of new business.
Cold calling prospects consistently for the great realtor never gets easy, they just embrace the challenge and chase success with discipline. They know that success is inevitable with this consistency as many have taken the same approach successfully prior. The valley of despair is the time between hope and success when it feels like nothing is working. It’s boring, monotonous, and demoralizing. Getting through it is a total mind game and most people aren’t built to conquer it. It takes a killer mindset and an upfront expectation with yourself that this path is not easy, but if you stay consistent with what works, eventually success will find you.
There is no magic pill
Everyone knows how to lose weight. The answer to this issue is obvious. Why then do so many people look for the quick fix to solve this problem? They look for special diets, fad exercise routines, gurus who promise you the world, and yes…. even magic pills! Why are most of us against the idea of working out and eating healthy? The answer is because it’s hard and boring. Running on the treadmill is boring and hard. Lifting weights for many people can get boring and difficult. Being disciplined about what you eat is boring and hard. You need to get comfortable with these realities and succeed in spite of them in order to reach your goals. The end result is worthwhile to endure the process. There are no magic formulas for success, but habit formation is a great place to start. See our previous blog on habits to get some ideas on how to form and stay consistent with good ones. One way to stay consistent with a habit we don’t like but must do is to use temptation bundling where we give ourselves permission to do something we enjoy while simultaneously doing something we don’t want to but need to do. For example, we can pair social media browsing with using the elliptical to get us into the habit of working out and only allowing ourselves to fall victim to this vice while doing something that will help us reach our goals.
In order to be successful, we need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. We need to get off the hope hamster wheel and get comfortable with boredom and consistency. Only through the valley of despair can we reach the peaks of success. This is the way.