Who you surround yourself with is everything. The goals, ambitions, habits, and beliefs will permeate into your worldview the more you spend time with someone or a group of people. These qualities and traits permeate your subconscious. Making sure you surround yourself with people who align with the identity you are trying to create for yourself is going to be a crucial point in whether you’re able to reach the success you are looking for or not. Just like the right group of people can impact you positively, the wrong group of people could dismantle your mindset and program your subconscious mind with destructive negativity. Let me first illustrate the power of the right circle. I will then contrast this by illustrating how the wrong circle can derail you in every capacity.
The power of the right circle
In the late winter months of 2023, I was almost 240 lbs. I am only 5′ 8″ and so I was overweight. I felt the effects of this reality everyday without even realizing it. It just felt normal and I accepted it as normal. I was diagnosed with sleep apnea some months earlier and without second guessing the diagnoses or believing there was anything I could do within my power to change it, I went along with the program and adapted to sleeping with a CPAP. This didn’t fix my issue and only masked it (quite literally). I didn’t address my strained and out of shape body, I didn’t address my erratic sleep schedule, and I definitely didn’t address my cell phone usage late into the night. This is how most people go through life, constantly masking and never truly addressing the root of their problems. This is usually due to the fact that facing the reality of your issues will be painful and no one likes pain so we avoid it whenever we can.
It was around this time I discovered a group of guys within my real estate network were running marathons, crushing records, and in great shape. Out of curiosity, I reached out to the man at the head of this group, Andrew, and we discussed my issues and how I could solve them. Through this conversation, I knew I was faced with a choice. The first was to continue on and mask my problems without ever addressing the root cause. The second and the more daunting upfront choice was to start to change my habits and become a more health-conscious person. What Andrew and his circle offered was a different path than the one I was on. It offered the adoption of a mindset of unbreakable steel. One where we would push the human body to its limits. One where we would push through temporary pain to achieve a grand and ultimate goal. It was through this group where I adopted the identity of a runner and soon after a marathon runner. In 4 short months, I was able to lose almost 40 lbs and get into such good shape that I was able to complete my first marathon. I no longer needed a CPAP and my sleep issues were resolved. My bedtime and rise time became constant and my sleep began to function as intended. It was because of this group and the strong belief in one another that I was able to change my ways and become greater than I ever thought possible. It was through the accountability I felt to Andrew and his crew that I was able to push through the hardest of runs, no matter what it took. I still carry this mindset today. I’m now an ultramarathon runner and in the best shape of my life. I still am a part of this circle and the impact is still profound. This is the power of the right circle.
The wrong circle can break you
If you desire more for yourself, you’ll need to trim all negativity from your life to the best of your abilities. This is difficult for many people because this oftentimes means limiting interaction with friends and family who constantly have a negative mindset. Unfortunately, as social animals, we tend to pick up on all social cues we receive from the people we surround ourselves with and it affects us greatly in only a short period of time whether we realize it or not.
Think about it. If your goal was to do something out of the ordinary, say run a marathon or start a business, how many people in your life would right off the bat react negatively rather than encouragingly? The sad truth is the answer is too many people! What kind of effect does this negativity have on your confidence to do what you say you’re going to do? More than we would like to admit, for sure! When we hear we can’t do something so many times, our minds begin to believe it (unless you’re hard wired to prove everyone wrong, and even so you’ll still have the advantage with a strong and supportive inner circle).
Humans are designed to want to be accepted by the social group they keep. If that group is negative and regularly dismisses your goals as impossible, if you continue to spend a large amount of time with them the brain will begin to believe these words in order to fit into the crowd. We can say all we want that we can resist this but why fight against human nature if we don’t have to? Why fight unnecessary battles when we can just simply walk away from negativity and surround ourselves with an environment of encouragement and accountability? Would you trade upfront pain for a life full of richness and achievement? That is literally the choice you’re making when choosing to distance yourself from negativity in favor of the right circle. An effect of this is that the naysayers have a higher probability of converting to your viewpoint when they see you succeed. If this is a close family member or friend, this alignment in mindset can help rekindle relationships and change the dynamic from negative and condescending to positive and encouraging.
The right circle of people impacts your life greatly. We are social animals and adapt to our environment in order to fit in. This happens subconsciously. However, we can make the conscious choice of who we spend the most time with and why. Make sure you make the right conscious choice so the all important subconscious choices can follow!